Since posting my last #365daysofbreakfast picture (and post) in January, I have not even opened this website. Not one. Single. Time.
I miss it.
When I started this blog I had a less demanding job (and a husband with a less demanding job), a smaller home, one child, and all kinds of time to think, which, it turns out, are all key to having interesting thoughts to share with readers. When my breakfast project took off, it gave me an excuse to visit the site, even briefly, each day. I wasn’t posting much, but at least I was posting.
As the project was ending I was concerned that its absence would leave a void in my life – that something would be obviously missing – and it would feel odd not to have something else that could fill up that “giant hole”. Turns out there are lots of little things that take up that space and because I haven’t made a concerted effort to allow room for other, specific, things to write about – or just think about – that space has just disappeared. I feel loose and untethered.
I was recently reading an article in TIME magazine about the most influential people on the internet. A blogger-turned-lifestyle-empire was listed and it got me thinking about how talented some people are at turning the things they do everyday into post-worthy activities (I think it helps that they have extremely fabulous photographers who follow them around all day.) They are talented, they work hard, certainly they plan (and many have teams of people helping), but the thing that they have in common is that they have identified what it is they can do and they do that thing really, really well. And then they write about it all over social media.
When I read about people like that I have this feeling that I want that: a platform to create a brand. The brand of me. The feeling that immediately follows, however, is one of … well … anxiety, I suppose. I don’t have that thing that defines me; that thing that I’m really, really good at doing that I can “sell” to everyone else.
I was good at being an academic, for a little while, but now I don’t have that. I was good at being a thoughtful mom, but now I don’t even have (or take?) a moment to reflect on what I made the kids for breakfast. I was good at experimenting in the kitchen and exploring new recipes, but now I struggle to make a weekly menu that varies much from the week before. I have a full time job, which I really like, and another one after that (wife and mother). I am working on a book, launching a new company, and designing a new product – but none of these things are things that I can write about. Or can I?
I am ready to rebrand myself, I need to rebrand myself. I’m hopeful that I have a plan for this soon, but in the meantime you may find that this website is a bit in flux.