I admire: {myself}

You might recall that several months ago I decided I was going to start a new series writing about people I admire. I thought, with the birth of my second baby, that I would have all kinds of time to ponder this question and wax philosophical about why and what that means for my own future. Then I actually had my second baby and learned that with two young children there’s little time for anything. But, I’ve started thinking about the idea more often lately, so decided it was time to pick up my pen, so to speak.
I know what you’re thinking: “Really? For your first post you’re gong to choose yourself? Could you be any more obnoxious?”

Here’s the thing: I have gone back and forth (and back again) on who I should write about first and I could never settle on a satisfactory answer. Should it be my friends M&R who are constantly seeking ways to live in harmony with their true passion? Should it be my brother, who left a job in DC with potential to make significant contacts in the political world to start his own small business (which is majorly kicking ass, by the way)? But what about my favorite food and DIY bloggers? Or my husband (who managed to completed his PhD dissertation – despite having no funding, two small children, and an advisor who is no longer on campus- with energy, enthusiasm, and persistence that was truly inspiring). Why not him?

All this indecision, however, amounted to just one thing: nothing. I was honoring no one by trying to decide who to honor first.

So I decided that the best thing I could do was to cut myself some slack and honor myself above all others. I am a wife and working mother. I make sure that my family has a healthy meal every night. In addition to my full time job, I accepted a (short) consulting position on the side. I pay our bills. I do most of the meal planning and a lot of grocery shopping. I have not lived up to all my new year’s resolutions yet (namely #3), but I’m getting there. I do not (unless under dire circumstances) check work email while my kids are awake.

I admire my ability to make this all happen. It’s not always with the most grace and inner peace that I’d like – my life is not without turmoil or uncertainty- but on a day to day basis I manage to pull it off. And although I’m exhausted at the end of the day, I am happy. And what more can one ask for?

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4 thoughts on “I admire: {myself}

  1. It’s possible (one could argue “likely”) that I’m biased, but I happen to admire you for all those same reasons. It’s truly a pleasure to watch you be “Mom” amidst all the noise and haste of life (tip of the hat to one of my favorite pieces of writing: Desiderata). Of all the things I could have hoped you’d grow up to be, a wonderful, talented and committed mother trumps all . . . Good choice for your first pick. Love ya!

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  2. “I know what you’re thinking: “Really? For your first post you’re gong to choose yourself? Could you be any more obnoxious?”
    In fact, this wasn’t what I was thinking at all. I was thinking two things:
    1. I admire you everyday – for the reasons you list and more. I am amazed at how you peacefully juggle everything and remain compassionate and professional in the work setting. I’m never juggling near what you are and yet I can’t seem to retain the composure and grace that you do!
    2. Now I can add THIS post to the long list of reasons I admire Kiyah.

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  3. Someone very special to me told me long ago that you can’t really love anyone if you don’t love yourself.
    I’m so proud of you – for many things – but today for this post.
    love,
    your husband

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